On being a poodle..

Due to a series of unrequitted love for a bunch of heartless individuals who can't seem to notice that.. uhmm.. I'm actually existing.. I was thrown into another depressive cycle as a bipolar, the day before the final exams. I was finding ways to start my life all over again. And I was planning to start on the easiest - the hair.

I was reviewing for Obstetrics on wednesday afternoon when a sudden impulse came.. And voila. "the poodle hair". Shock. That's what I initially felt when they were removing the curlers (or whatever they are called) from my hair. "I'm so dead meat." I was cursing the people from the salon over and over again. I said.. "big curls" not.. poodle curls.. I waited for 3 frakin' hours.. listening to some gay guy on the salon talk incessantly. "Alam mu ba nagbabasketball aq.." (great).. "Kapitbahay namin si Francis M. Ha.! Pakaway-kaway pa siya sa mga fans kunwari.. Naku. Hindi yun umuubra sa min" (I wonder if he's really gay..). Tapus nakakalaro namin ung anak niya.. naku gwaaaaapo.! tisoy! kaso pagnakakalaro namin sa basketball parang palaging meh dalang sibuyas sa kili-kili, naiiwan yung amoy pag tumatakbo" (now what..?).
"Anung course mu... ah nursing.. naku.. alam mu bang yung sikreto pag may namamatay kang pasyente..?" Melissa: "Anu po?" .. "Bulungan mu lng ng "malapit na ang oras mu!.. tapus babangon na siya" Melissa: "ah..*blank look*"  "Ikaw ba ineng yung kausap ko kanina? Bakit ang pangit mo pag basa yung buhok mo"

Great.

Good thing my dorm mates know how to console "individuals with hairs that have gone all wrong". They were saying.. "Ang cute" Melissa: *blank stare* Same goes for my blockmates. "Ang cute.." Except for my RLE groupmates..and some person named yaoi-chan

Maricar: "from cat to pooooodle.!!"... "wala na ung tigidig..!"
Camille: "akala ko meh poodle na dumadating kanina nung exam"
Megan: *pat on the head*
Luigi: "medusa-chan!"
Pat: "hahahaha".. *strokes my eyelashes* then says "ang galing ang tigas.. hawakan niyo rin.!"
Jez: "magpakulot na tayong lahat sa RLE"


Oh well.. Gotta find ways to distract myself from the "the person".. *nod* *nod* since I'm on "bagong buhay" with this poodle hair..*nod* *nod*  I wonder how my father is going to react with this? hmmm...

RLE 2 with Miss Nursing year 19_ _ unknown...

wooo.. the lips. hahaha XD

mel.. gelo.. rog..

at dahil mahal naman c mam... dahil bnigyan niya kami ng on the spot NCP for evaluation exam..

at dahil binigyan niya ako ng 9 hours make up...

at dahil meh nakakalat na diary ng "lalaki"..

3rd shift with mam manuel.. was probably the most memorable shift in my first semester of clinical exposure..  due to the fact that...

1. nabatukan ako ng professor..

2 wulang make up sa late.. pero

3. nag make up duty ng 9 hours dahil hindi nagpaalam ng lumabas ako ng room for approximately 5 minutes T.T

4. plus make up ng mga natutulog.

Detoxifying with Sir Hibek.

... triple Ph.D... all finished with title.. "suma cum laude"


It had been drizzling for some time and had just finished lapping up corn flowing with margarine and tokneneng (haha.)..when a poster that reads "Detoxifying with Sir Hibek.. September 23... 5-7 pm in the Nursing auditorium" popped up into my mind. I have a paper in English tomorrow and a quiz in micro-para lined-up in my head. I looked at my watch... 5:37 pm. And it takes about forever to walk from my dormitory in P.Noval to the Med building. I don't even know the professor personally... just a couple of hints from my 4th year room mate... "lit class professor..".. "personal preference of hot, young guy students"... "triple Ph.D. finished with title suma laude"...

For some reason, I felt an energy..pushing me to change clothes - nursing shirt, black pants. It was still drizzling outside, but was fortunate enough to have an umbrella that keeps on closing every second. I looked at my watch 5:50 pm. Great. I'm just late for an hour. Taking a deep breath, I opened the doors of the auditorium. The room was a quarter filled with students scattered on the left side of the room... just as my room mate had predicted. Not a single familiar face in sight, I sat  at the farthest  seat at the back. I ran my eyes around the room. A cutie was seated 2 chairs away at my right and a clinical instructor (didn't even know he was until Sir Hibek acknowledged his presence) at my back.

I peeked inside my white sling bag. I was looking for a notebook, a pad of paper, or any paper there is, to write the power point lecture being flashed. Alas. I found a receipt stapled on an SM plastic bag from one of my purchase last Monday..."glass frame... "P250.00". "This would do the trick"... then started writing scanty letters at the back. I started with.. "2. ..."

Note: This entry has been in my draft for like a month.. And I can't seem to finish... since I unfortunately lost the "receipt" T.T *sigh* And sooo.. the following are... uhmm. just a few that I was able to remember from Sir Hibek's discussion.

• Pressure starts within you. If every single member of your RLE group is pressured... nothing gets done. (or something like that)
•  Give yourself a break... go to the botanical garden for example during your lunch.. or go to other class' room. What's important is... stay away from people from you section, especially from members of your RLE group. It's like you're with them 5 days a week... morning.. afternoon.. and will be with them for the rest of your stay in the college. Don't you ever get tired of the faces? 
• Meditate...when you're about to start studying for quizzes... or have a short break.. close your eyes and think you're someplace else.. boracay watching the sunset...sand on your feet...backpacking abroad with your special someone...drinking booze...road trips with friends (melissa: hmmm... bed)
• And when you're reviewing.. review with your books and notes closed most of the time. Read your notes. Then close them.. and recall everything. Then open your notes again.. and look for the things you missed. This will be easier for you have already exerted effort.. "that's what I did during my student days.." (melissa: the day after.. I tried it.. I failed.. as an eternal bird brain)

But what really struck me the most was when he said.. "Stop trying to be dean listers (to NASA students).." It was ironic.. hearing such words from an academic epitome. There was silence.. Then he added, "It's one of the things I regret in my life."

intruiging.. lolz

FIX U.

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

.. dammet.! can't post the vid here.. 

YOUTUBE: "Embedding disabled by request"
oh well..

... loving COLDPLAY more. :) 

unrequitted love.forever.. and ever.. and forever.. and evaaah.!

I'm wondering why am I even making this account. haha.

It's like the stupidest thing ever..
1. easily falling for someone.. like just for 3 days.  (and this might just be lust. hahah)
2. liking these people that you should not even like..(sweetest sin I guess.. :)
3. putting meaning in all the person's action.. when it's just pure friendship.
4. putting all hope... thinking the person just might like you.

whatever...BREATHE. MOVE ON.

I can sense that.. I might just be another old maiden in the making... THE HORROR.!!! :((
BREATHE. PANIIIIIIIC.!!!